Hospital Part I: perils of being a Boy

My kids love playing in the two local parks and their dutiful Uncle has taken them there several times. This one fateful afternoon, Boy managed to catch his um..w*lly on some part of the roundabout. I wasn’t there but it was just one of those freaky things. Perhaps it would have helped if he’d been wearing jeans instead of soft shorts but somehow he caught a tiny bit of of the end. Luckily it was a weekday and the medical centre was a few minutes’s sprint away. The Dr there cleaned and put a gauze on it and sent him home. He seemed fine and I didn’t even think to take a look at it since he didn’t appear in any pain. We had dinner as usual and a short while later the inevitable happened. He needed a wee.

I’d put some warm water in a small bath according to the instructions of the Dr. He was crying out already and was screaming in pain by the time he was in the water. The bloody gauze floated away and I ran downstairs to express my horror and demand the appearance of Calpol before sprinting back up to hold my poor, poor Boy. I gave him a quick shower comforting him as best I could. He calmed down once dressed, well half dressed because he couldn’t tolerate anything near his lower half. We thought that was the worst over. With a little coaxing and plenty of reassurance he managed a little wee before bed and actually fell asleep.

I stayed up reading the newspapers just in case. At 11.00pm, he stumbled into my bedroom desperate to go to toilet. He did but was in a lot of pain so I decided there and then we must head to the nearest A&E. My brother drove us and it took about 20 minutes. Boy was cold and shivering. It didn’t take long for us to register. There were adults and a couple of babies. The adults mostly appeared to have some sort of sports related injury. The nurse called us after about half an hour to assess Boy. Then he told us he would ask the Dr to see us. And so began the long wait. Boy fell asleep, my brother and I were exhausted mostly from the worry I think. Boy was the only child left by the time the Paediatrician came looking for him at about 2.30am. She was really nice. A tall, slim, red head with freckles and big black glasses. We had to tell her everything again and she had a look at the injured w*lly. She told us she would consult with her Registrar but the best thing would be to admit him for observation. He was to go to the children’s ward. My brother went home with instructions for items to bring for us in the morning.

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