Tween will soon be 9 and in her old school had a healthy mix of girls and boys as friends. Some classmates and even Boy used to tease her about having a boyfriend and I was relieved and pleased she simply pointed out – sagely – that girls can be friends with boys without being girlfriend and boyfriend. There was one boy she did like in particular because he was very good natured and chatty and loved animals as she does. His mother and I used to carpool with me taking her younger child with mine while she took Tween and her son who were in the same class. This boy, who we shall call ‘G’, was teased badly by one of the other boys and G’s mother told me how Tween had comforted him in the car on the way home telling him not to let them get him down and that he should try to stand up for himself and tell them to stop. There was a complication in that another girl was rather envious of their friendship and also teased him mercilessly because of it which G’s mother and I were very sad about since this girl’s mother is not…how shall I put it…. the most reasonable or approachable person. Then this girl left the school but so did we.
Fast forward half a year to another school, another class. I’d noticed Tween mention a boy we’ll call ‘T’. It appeared she was the only girl on his table at lunch which I thought was a bit odd. But then like I said earlier, she’s used to having boys as friends. Anyway, one morning on the way to school, there was a blond little boy walking on the other side of the road and Tween began to get all giggly and couldn’t stop smiling. ‘[Hee, hee!] That’s T over there, Mummy’. Oh really? She was the same whenever we saw him a few times after that. T is quite a short boy for his age with white blond hair and a slight build. I’m detailing how he looks because at exactly the same age, I had my first crush on literally the boy next door and he was a skinny white blond kid a couple of years older. How could have Tween known that? This boy and I were mad about each other then I moved away and I never saw him again. I do have a couple of photos of us and I’m afraid to look because I know the resemblance will be uncanny.
Fast forward a few weeks and Tween complained that at lunch, T kept telling her to hurry up eating her food and even told her where to sit. I didn’t think too much about it until she mentioned it again and she seemed quite annoyed-hurt even. And this week she said at lunch T was serving her food and he spilled a spoonfull and again insisted she sit in a particular place she didn’t want to. I told her if she didn’t like it and there was no good reason her him to order her about then to tell the lunch monitor or her teacher. Boy had been listening and he agreed that she should tell the lunch monitor. Tween looked very business like and said very decidely that she’d tell her teacher to move her to another table. I don’t like T anymore, he’s not a very nice boy was the final verdict.
Then on Friday on the way home from school among the usual dissection of their school day, Tween states in a matter of fact way, ‘K loves me’. Say what? ‘He sat next to me in Art and said he loves me.’ I asked her what she said in return as matter of factly as I could. ‘I didn’t say I love him, I’m still thinking about it.’ I thought way to go my girl, keep ’em guessing!! Oh really was all I revealed to her. At dinner Tween, added a little more information in that not only did K sit next to her, he squashed her a little which opened up a discussion among the 3 of them including what it means when a person stares at you. Boy, forever the pessimist/realist, said it doesn’t mean they love you if they stare because it might not be you they’re staring at! It was, to me, highly amusing.