Linking to Patti’s Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday #148
A morning of appointments and running errands in the cold – not a problem in my wool and cashmere outfit. Layering is the key with each layer not too thick. Vince wool collarless coat also here and here, The Cashmere Company lilac jumper also here, J Crew Café wool trousers also here, Old England cashmere scarf, Céline bronze bowling bag and Toggi Chelsea boots.One of my appointments was to my surgery. I don’t often visit the GP for myself, mostly for the children. This time I’d saved up a couple of issues of my own to raise with her also here and here. She took a look at her computer screen and said, ‘You’re 47,’ as neutrally as possible, (actually over 47-and-a-half dear Dr), before adding, ‘yes, you’re in that time frame – are you getting hot flushes?’ She had news for me – an invitation for a mammogram to look forward to! Oh joy, the prospect of being prodded and examined like during my baby years until every shred of dignity is stripped away, but this time there’s never going to be a little baby at the end, only synthetic hormones to nurse perhaps. And after spending years preventing the arrival of more children, my body’s saving me the trouble. Forever. Here’s another symptom to add to the mix – broodiness. This can only be explained as my body shuts down forever the opportunity for childbearing, the raw default program remains to reproduce = the broodiness. ‘Babies! Babies! Last chance!‘ I find myself mourning the prolonged final death throes of fertility. Plus is my body also telling me that at my age, I should be cooing over grandchildren as consolation? At my age, my mother had 27 (moi), 17 and 15 (my brothers) year olds. I could have given her grandbabies then but in fact she had to wait another 8 years.I grew up with very positive old role models in my life and it would be great to actually celebrate mid life so do we endure discomfort and wait until it’s all over? Or ignore it all and just get on with it like my mother did – I could be too busy to notice, except I do want to know what’s going on with my body, it’s the only one I’ve got so I’m trying to look after it. If you see me next coatless outdoors cradling a little furry creature, you will be understanding won’t you? Sniff!
Thanks for reading!